Presenting Your Best Self On A College Application – A Guide

Applying for college can be a daunting task for a young person. On one hand, it can feel as though there is no room for individual personality–they are asked to upload grades, test scores, list individual achievements–black and white facts that leave no room for explanation. On the other hand, there is pressure to demonstrate to college recruiters how “special” they are, or to write something profound in the personal statement and essay portions of the application. There is also pressure to share unique wisdom that sets them apart from other teenagers applying to the same university. It is no wonder that this process produces worry and anxiety. 

But for most high school students, the key to crafting a solid college application is much more simple. It does not rely on unusual, dramatic, or traumatic life experiences. It does not involve bribing an important person to write a personal recommendation, and it certainly does not require exaggerating one’s achievements. Suggested rephrase: If your child follows the five guiding principles when filling out their applications, they will be ahead of the curve.

• Know why you want to attend the school you are applying to
• Customize each college application to the school for which you are applying
• Choose your personal recommendation mentors carefully
• Edit your achievements in a way that highlights your strengths and interests
• Be authentic and honest – but professional

I will elaborate on each of these ideas below. While they might seem general or obvious, you would be amazed at how many students get so caught up in the application process that they fail to adhere to one of these basic guidelines, which compromises their chances for admission.

If the student is not interested in attending a university, it will come through on the application

Have you ever seen a child forced to play in a sport they are not interested in? Listened to a kid practice playing an instrument they do not enjoy? Or viewed the paintings of a child with no artistic inclination? Of course, we all have. It is obvious when a student is going through the motions of an activity they are required to participate in, versus a child who has a passion for what they are doing. The same is true with applying to colleges; if a student really does not want to attend a school, the admissions office will get the hint. 

Not every student knows what their major will be. Not every teenager has a ten-year plan. But your child should be excited about something the school has to offer. Maybe they have always wanted to be a part of Greek life. Perhaps they grew up a fan of the school’s sports teams and want to join the spirit club. Maybe the school is located in an idyllic town, or the school is known for its clubs and community service.

The point is, if your student does not know why they are applying to this specific school, their apathy will come across. It is not enough to know they want to attend a university; they need to be able to articulate why they are interested in the specific university they are applying to. School admissions counselors favor students who are enthusiastic about becoming part of the community. If your high schooler does not sound like they want to be there, their wish just might be granted– with a rejection letter.

Customize each application and follow the instructions for each school for which you apply

It would be great if a student could put together one amazing ‘stock’ application and use it to apply to multiple schools. Unfortunately, that is not how it works. Each school has slightly different application requirements. Some schools require testing scores, while others are test-optional. Every school will have different essay questions to respond to. Some schools may ask for personal recommendations, others may not. It is important to craft an individual application for each school. Do not try to ‘force’ essays, personal statements, or recommendations to fit with every application. Approach each application individually, and write a separate essay for every prompt.

Yes, it is a lot of work and organization. Yes, writing one or two essays is far easier than writing ten or twelve. But the more schools that your student wants to apply to, the harder they will have to work. It is that simple. Maybe one school asked a particular essay question, and your teen had an answer that really knocked it out of the park. That is great– but if the essay does not fit what a different school is asking for, write something else. Admissions counselors will sense if a student is recycling answers and not putting in the effort.

The same is true for following instructions. Do not go beyond word count limits. Do not list more activities or extracurriculars than are asked for. Do not try to download supplemental material that was not requested. Your goal is to present yourself clearly, concisely, and efficiently. And always approach each application as though the school is your first and only choice.

Choose your personal recommendation mentors carefully

In a perfect world, the person your child chooses to write their personal recommendation should be someone who 1) knows them well, 2) can speak to their character and interests, and 3) has been instrumental in some part of their life that is relevant to their college application. For example, suppose your teen has been volunteering at a soup kitchen for three years. In that case, their supervisor can speak to their leadership qualities, sense of community service, and their character. Or perhaps your child has been involved in a Youth Group, and the group leader has spent a great deal of time watching them lead their peers. These adults know your child well and can provide specific examples of how they are fantastic. However, if your child does well in math but only has one class with their math teacher, that teacher may only be able to write in generalities, especially if 30 other kids are also asking for a recommendation letter.

Your child’s personal recommendations are always strongest when the person writing the letter knows the student well. Seeking out an alumnus of the university, or an adult you know with an important career, may make for a strong letter, but only if the letter demonstrates that they are familiar with your child. A generic letter that cannot talk about your student in concrete terms or paint a clear picture of their character will not convince an admissions office. As always, pay attention to each school’s instructions. If a school specifies that one letter must come from a teacher or someone familiar with your child’s academic achievements, ensure that you comply with the instructions.

Students should edit their extracurricular activities to focus on their strengths and highlights

Your high schooler has probably spent the last four years doing everything possible to pad their resume. But let’s face it – sometimes we try a hobby or activity, and it just isn’t a good fit. When your teen sits down to list their extracurricular activities, it is best if they stick to the activities that are most meaningful to them. Did they play the clarinet in marching band all four years? List it. Did they quit the band after their freshman year? Leave it off. Have they volunteered with an organization every weekend for two years? Include it. Did they spend one weekend, three years ago, building houses with Habitat for Humanity? Consider leaving that one off.

College admissions counselors look for quality over quantity. They understand that there are only so many hours in the day. They would prefer to see your teenager deeply involved in a few activities that matter to them, rather than a laundry list of activities. A good rule of thumb is that if your child has won an award, been recognized, or engaged in an activity regularly, these are extracurricular activities they should list. Do not list activities your child participated in prior to high school if they no longer participate. If your child has a private hobby– for instance, drawing, writing, or music- they should list it on a college application!

Be authentic and write in your voice – but be professional

It is normal to act differently with friends versus in a professional setting. Young people have their own slang, their own way of texting, and communicate more informally. That is all fine and good, but a college application is not the time for bad grammar. 

College essays and personal statements should be written in an authentic voice and should attempt to tell a story from the student’s life. That does not mean students should write an essay as if they were texting a friend. Complete sentences, letters capitalized appropriately, and correctly spelled words are essential. Essays should be edited and proofread until they are polished. It is generally a good idea to have a second person proofread all essays for overlooked typos. College applications should be approached in the same way as a job. All essays should be error-free, proofread, and use appropriate language. The same is true of any other place on the application that requires the student to respond to a question in a complete sentence. 

Essay topics should be thoughtful. They often ask the student to reflect on a hardship in their life or name a person from whom they learned a life lesson. The university understands that for many students, these answers may sound similar– the death of a family member, a hard time with school, perhaps a sports injury. Students might write about being bullied, struggles with mental health, or questions about sexuality. While students might obsess over what to write about, the most important thing is that they are sincere and write about something unique to them. Their college essay shouldn’t describe anyone else’s experience. The second most important thing is that whatever they write must be true. Students should never, under any circumstances, lie on the essay question in an attempt to stand out.

Students should audit their online presence and social media prior to applying to college

Lastly, students should audit their online presence before applying to college. This is not strictly part of the application process, but it does go along with professionally presenting oneself. Many colleges now look at students’ social media pages before offering admission. Students should take down or make private any photographs of themselves that could be considered embarrassing or unprofessional. It should go without saying, but any photos of a student breaking the law– i.e., drinking underage, using drugs, vandalizing property– should be taken down. There should be no comments online where a student is bullying another person, using slurs of any kind, or making derogatory comments. Regarding political or religious content, students should think carefully before sharing political or religious beliefs online. While it is not necessarily frowned upon to share one’s beliefs – particularly if the student has an active interest in politics or will be attending a religious school – they should take care that their opinions are considerate, positive, well-thought-out, and not insulting to others.

One’s online presence is an extension of how they represent themselves. If there is anything online that a student would not want an admissions counselor to see, they should take the initiative to take it down, or have it removed before applying to school.

Still need more help with your high schooler’s college applications? As a certified college consultant, I offer college application assistance, in addition to aptitude testing, essay writing help, career coaching, and guidance towards finding the perfect college to apply to. Contact me today to learn more about my services.

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